Graduation is a momentous occasion not only for students but also for their parents. After all the hardships and effort, they finally see their kids march and receive their diplomas. But what about after the ceremonies? Here is a handy guide on how you can help your children adjust to post-graduation life.
Post-graduation parenting tip no. 1: Help them create their first-year goals
Many new graduates often have lofty targets after getting out of school, such as landing a high-paying job within the first year. While these are admirable, they can become disappointed if they fail to achieve those targets.
As such, you would want to help your kid focus on simpler first-year goals. To start, remind them that their first job need not be their last. Instead, they should think of it as training for their later career after college.
One way to help them get accustomed to working full time is by encouraging them to get small jobs during the summer season. This may or may not match the type of work they desire but will help them get accustomed to the working lifestyle, such as learning how to schedule their time more effectively. It will also help boost their confidence in handling future interviews for the jobs that they like to do.
Post-graduation parenting tip no. 2: Help them understand their responsibilities
In the Philippines, new graduates are expected to help the family right after landing their first job. This can end up putting a lot of pressure on them as they try to make a living for their own. You can ease that burden by helping them get a better grasp of what they need to do to help.
Sharing in the expenses around the house is one such responsibility you need to discuss with your new graduate. Don’t expect them to shoulder a large chunk of the bills right away. Instead, ask them what they will be able to handle. This will give them more freedom in how to manage their salaries while still being able to do their share.
Another responsibility that you would want to discuss is how they will manage their personal lives post-graduation. While it is not uncommon for Pinoys to move out of their parent’s homes after college, they might still defer certain decisions to their parents. For instance, some kids might still leave managing their finances to their parents.
Discuss with your kids their post-graduation plans and ask them how they intend to achieve those plans. From there, you can talk to them about the adjustments they need to make to achieve those. These include the specific things they need to do on their own, such as learning how to invest. You can also help them develop better management strategies for handling different life situations.
Post-graduation parenting tip no. 3: Be supportive but not overbearing
On the other side of the fence, many parents worry whether their kids will indeed be able to survive being independent after college. As such, they would try to advise them as much as possible. But this can cause friction between you and your kid, as they can feel like you are trying to shackle them.
Before offering any unsolicited advice, you should step back and assess whether it is the right time to give such advice. Observe first how they are coping with the situation. You might find that they are just fine and your help is not needed. Also, don’t feel offended when they try to ask for help from other people. Remember that they will meet up with different people who can provide them with other solutions that are as helpful as yours.
You would also want to avoid pointing out how things are done during your youth. Remember that then and now can be vastly different and your suggestions might not be suited now. In this case, you should wait for your kids to ask for what it’s like during your time.
Post-graduation parenting tip no. 4: Have a communication strategy
Often, your postgraduate kid would want to talk to you simply for the sake of hearing your voice. Facilitate those small moments by creating a communication plan with them. Take advantage of new technology like Facebook Messenger, Skype, or Viber to ensure that you get in touch with them regularly.
You would also want to set aside the right time for these leisurely chats. Remember that your kids will be busy managing their own lives so they might not have a lot of free time. Mutually agree to a time when they can call you or vice versa and make sure that you are both able to follow it. This will help maintain a stronger bond between you and them even as they head out.
Get your post-graduate kid ready for a new life
Seeing their kids head out to their post-graduation life can be an emotional moment for many parents. But by following the reminders here, you will be happy to know that you are giving a good send-off. Be happy as you watch them go to a new stage of their adult lives.